Slow Your Breath Down
by Sara Jaye
Summary: When he'd broken down over the pain of his past, Ike had held him until the tears stopped. Now that the war is over, Ike is slowly breaking and it's all Soren can do to keep him together.


FE Fest: Ike/Soren - Love is having someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.

* * *

It was nice to go back to the way things were before the war, really. No armies, no storming castles, no secrets and no more mad Goddesses. Just the simple life of mercenaries living day to day. It was like picking up where they'd left off, really.

Well, almost.

Soren sighed as he laid his cloak down on a nearby rock to dry. They'd barely had any time to bathe or wash their clothes between the final battles, and this cloak was beginning to smell a bit ripe from sweat and blood. Especially blood; now that the war was over the last thing anyone wanted to be reminded of were those battles.

But it wasn't the smell that was bothering him, nor the blood. It was how quiet Ike had been since they'd left the city. Granted, being hailed as the greatest hero of all time and being surrounded by adoring fans had to be exhausting, but Ike hadn't been _this_ out of sorts since his father's death. _That must be it_, Soren thought. Now that he didn't have the war, he was probably thinking about his father nonstop.

Commander Greil had been a good man. Soren didn't trust easily outside of Ike, but Greil had taken him in and treated him like a member of the family. He'd been a father to them all, and it was impossible _not_ to miss him. Soren placed a heavy book on top of his cloak to keep it from blowing away overnight, then headed back to the tent he and Ike shared. Even if Ike didn't want to talk about it, he shouldn't be alone when he felt like this.

"Hey."

Soren smiled a little as Ike turned to face him.

"That's the first thing you've said to anyone since we left," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know." Ike sighed, pulling his bedroll closer to Soren. "Soren, do I still look like the same person I was five years ago? I mean, do you think I'm still me?" Soren blinked.

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"It's just so...first I lose Dad, then I find out he's the one who killed Mom all those years ago," Ike began. Soren nodded; Ike had told him _that_ story after the first war and never brought it up again. "You don't forget something that easily, you know? Dad was my hero, I looked up to him more than anyone and he turns out to be a _murderer_. And then I feel bad because it wasn't _his_ fault, it was the medallion." He sighed again, running a hand over his face. "And now _this_. That memory Yune showed me...I didn't remember anything about Mom's death until Volke told me what happened, and it turns out..." He trailed off, breathing hard. Soren immediately took Ike's hand, squeezing gently.

"Ike, you don't have to go on if it's too hard."

"I saw the whole thing, Soren. I saw it, I went insane and nearly strangled my own little sister!" The words tumbled out in a mad rush and Ike's eye twitched rapidly. "I-I could've _killed_ Mist, just like-just like Dad-" He was practically hyperventilating now and sounded near tears, and Soren's heart clenched painfully at the sight. When he'd broken down over the pain of his own past Ike had held him close and rubbed his back until the tears finally stopped, but that didn't feel like enough this time. Soren wanted to say something, anything that would take the pain away. Ike didn't deserve this.

"I just...feel like I'm not who I think I was for the past twenty years. I was Ike, just a plain old mercenary from Gallia but now I'm a Daein by blood, a broken child who had to have his memory sealed to protect him, savior of the world...none of it adds up, Soren. I don't even know who Ike _is_ anymore."

"You're still him." Soren moved in for a clumsy embrace, being so much smaller than Ike and bad with affection in general it wasn't easy but somehow he managed a comfortable position where Ike could rest against him. "You're still the person who saved my life all those years ago, the only person I believe in. Who you are by blood or what happened to you in the past doesn't change any of that."

"At least one of us thinks so," Ike muttered, burying his face against Soren's shoulder. "I don't know, Soren, it's just...it's too much. Every time I try to sort this out it gets all jumbled up and my head hurts. Who was I? Who am I? Who am I gonna _be_? Nothing makes sense anymore." Again, words failed Soren as he kept holding his commander, watching as he continued to struggle not to cry. _You've always been bad with your emotions, Ike. Just like I am_. He closed his eyes. _Some pair we make._

"King Ashnard was my father," he said after a long silence. Ike's head shot up.

"Soren?"

"That's right," Soren said. It was the first time since finding out that he'd bothered to bring it to the forefront; when he'd first found out he'd been in too much shock to feel anything else, and as time went on he'd pushed it to the back of his mind. But now, somehow he felt like he needed to say something. Like Ike deserved to know. "I found out after that day...after you finally remembered how we first met. I decided to do some research and find out who my real parents were, so I went to the libraries." He closed his eyes again and exhaled a deep breath. "I ended up looking at the Daein bloodline, and it mentioned King Ashnard had a son with a member of the Dragon tribe." Ike's eyes widened.

"That's..."

"Me." Soren nodded. Ike stared blankly at him for a long moment, then let out a low whistle.

"So all this time we should've been calling you _Prince_ Soren," he chuckled weakly. Soren shook his head.

"I'm no prince, Ike. I never was," he said. "I'm just me. The Branded son of a father who never wanted him."

"Oh, Soren..."

"Ike, What you said back then, about how you didn't care who my parents were...is that still true, even now?" Soren swallowed, closing his eyes for a third time against the tears threatening to well up. He trusted Ike, more than anything, but even the kindest people could easily be repulsed at the idea of the Mad King's having a child. "I-I just-"

"Yes." Ike managed a smile. "I'll never give two figs who your parents were, even if one of them was Ashnard. I don't care who you were, who you almost were or anything like that. You're Soren, you're my best friend and that's all that matters to me."

"And when I look at you, I don't see a tragic family story or a broken child. All I'll ever see is the boy who offered a warm hand when I had nothing...the person who means more to me than anyone." Soren's arms tightened around Ike, and this time Ike returned the embrace with a soft murmur.

"I think you and I need to get away for a while," he said. "No crowds, no fighting, no contracts. Just a little time to clear our heads."

"If that's what you want, Ike." Soren didn't know if his own head needed clearing, but if Ike's did, there was no reason for him to stay with the troupe.

"It is. We'll come back to them eventually, but for now..." He yawned. "There's a lot of the world I want to see anyway. And I couldn't imagine going anywhere without you." Soren nodded and released his hold on Ike only to curl up on the bedroll beside him.

"Thank you, Ike. Thank you...for everything." He felt Ike's arms lock more tightly around him and smiled; deep down he'd known he could trust Ike not to turn him away. Ike, the one who didn't care who anyone was by blood or otherwise, the one who'd helped him. The only person he would ever trust.

The past didn't matter anymore. They'd build their own future, together.


End file.
